Sunday, May 22, 2005

your death, and how to cope with it

today I played in the queen street mall. We sounded rather grandioso, although I fucked up one bit in Rhapsody in Blue.

So I saw this article about how death may not be such a career killer. It immediately made me think of Red Dwarf, where Rimmer dies, and is given a book called "your death and how to cope with it".

On Thursday it fuckin snowed in Brisbane. At least it looked like it. I was going home from uni on Thursday night, in the bus. Lots of crazy shit happenned! The bus crashed into a sign. I saw cars bogged in the snow/hale. I saw ice right down the middle of coronation drive. I saw sheets of white covering what used to be green grass. It was the coolest weather I have ever been amongst in my life. I wish that happenned more often. Oh god what if that happenned during State of Origin?! Fuck! All Thursday night I was just thinking: "What the fuck's going on?!?!?! Waaaaaaaaah?????"

ADDENDUM:
I've recently been thinking about some theories which I've hypothesised.

Theory #1If the "eat fresh" fast food chain Subway is still around after 10 years, they will have turned into an unhealthy, McDonalds style, fast food joint. In the year 2015, Subway will have undergone McDonaldization. Thanks to Kristy, we discovered that Subway's "6 grams of fat or less in each Sub" is misleading, since that statement only applies to 6-inch subs! It's Subway-gate! It's a conspiracy! They're lying to us! In the year 2015, Subway will proudly announce that their Subs don't have any fat, but in reality they contain other bad shit. Consumer rights groups will sue Subway in 2016 because their siblings gotten fat from eating Subway everyday. Normal people will then criticise those groups and say "Nah shit Subway's bad for you! Duh!".

Theory #2The Ministry of Sound is a prominent dance label/club. The thing that intrigues me is where they got their name. When I first heard their name, I immediately thought of Orwell's nineteen-eighty-four, since in that book, there are many ministries within Oceania's government. These are:
  • Ministry of Peace (maintains peace in Oceania through continuous war)
  • Ministry of Truth (deletes the past to confirm what the government of Oceania says is true)
As you can see, each ministry accomplishes its goal through that goal's exact opposite. So what if a Ministry of Sound existed in Oceania? Perhaps it might broadcast utterly shite music to Oceania's population? Wouldn't it destroy all of what is good in music in order to create music? If I can prove that the founders of The Ministry of Sound got that name from 1984, I'm a fucking genius.

3 comments:

kristy said...

craig, you're a fuckhead. i already proved orwell was a fuckwit just the other day! here is my evidence:
okay, the whole point of newspeak, which he carefully made a point of in his book, was to get rid of undesirable words like "hope", "protest", etc so that people didn't have words to express those concepts, then over time, they wouldn't be able to feel those concepts (he said it much more eloquently than that). okay so that's cool. then why the fuck was one of the party's slogans "freedom is slavery"? why would they put a word like "freedom", the very concept they were trying to get rid of, in their fucking slogan?! stupid orwell. (i actually really love nineteen eighty-four and it was the only book i finished at school). also they probably got the ministry of sound thing from the ministry of "insert boring thing here" cos that is what they say in england where ministry of sound is/comes from.
but you're spot on with the subway thing, you just forgot to mention that the subway of the future will be that pill thing i was talking about. i will explain it for all your readers. it's like this: you go in and it's like subway except they make pills with whatever drugs you want. so, instead of bread rolls you get an empty capsule and as you move along the counter instead of salads, you choose those tiny little pills that are in capsules. yeah, and if you're reading this subway, fuck off! it's my idea! i patent it! i learnt about patents at uni. okay, sorry for ruining your blog. love kristy.

rhod said...

Look Craig, 6 grams of fat per sub. The 6inch is the standard here. You got to remeber that. Therefore, once you've established that you can say well there's be 12, in the 12". YA FEEL ME?!


So, you're saying Ministry of Sound is crap? Cool.

madeliza said...

hi! um yer. no wat i hate is that subway n maccas n shit are al like this has only '8 grams of fat' (that was a mix between 6 at subway and 9 at maccas)...so?? thats a fucking shitload! how many grams is a burger? like 150? at the most! so what? thats like...over 5% ...fuckers. id like to see how popular there bugers were if the sign siad...this is over 5% pure fat. motherfuckers. and that is only the fat. there is a massive shitload of sugar and shit in the bread! hoes! and all those carbs....fucjkers. neway yes. and then i get pissed off moreso when stupid motherfuckers are like...i'm on a diet so i'm going to eat subway. losers. you may as well eat maccas. this is bullshit. omg and yer. cathy (as i have taken to calling her) was like at school and she was talking about how she was trying to lose weight and shit and what she was having for afternoon tea. so her i was talking to her and she is like...i think i'll have a muffin. a muffin? A MOTHER FUCKING MUFFIN!? hmph. so then i had to explain to her that a muffin was as fattninig as a burger PLUS sugar! argh. she only started to get it when i told her it was like a cake...for one. it started to sink in then. now i don't blame catherine for this . i blame mother fucking SUBWAY! for convincing her that if every meal she eats has at least 5% fat she will lose weight! motherfuckers. argh. i think thats all.

love ellie.

o....and for sarah...DAMN THOSE RIGHT WING BASTARDS!